Everything you ever wanted to know about ArMa and were probably told by ArMa and forgot. ArMa thinks you need a refresher course.

In Book 1 of ArMaisdom our great ruler ArMa writes of his origin:

I was born on May 11th 1977 at 12 pm in a private house, in Georgetown Guyana. My father was a hard working man who grew up on a plantation in the Guyanese interior. My mother was a strong willed woman who rose out of poverty levels that can only be imagined by Sally Struthers on those Feed the children commercials.

Truly a great man. Hail ArMa. In 1991 the first Church of ArMa was founded as a thousand ArMaites besieged and sacked a McDonalds. The building was converted to an ArMa Church/Porno theater and ArMa started his first Harem. There were twelve strippers and an old lady in need of hip replacement, but they were glorious whores nonetheless. ArMa writes of his emotions on that great day of the grand opening of his first church: Out of the filth of Brooklyn I arose like a lion, wiping away the capitalism of that vile fast food chain and replacing it with a beacon of hope and light for all the horny women. The Church of ArMa and the Harem of ArMa are truly great visions of my unstoppable will and sexual prowess. Let the orgy begin!

Three years later the U.S. government began investigating the Church of ArMa's validity as a religious organization. But the investigation was nothing but a witch hunt meant to keep ArMa from rising up from a regional to a national power. They dragged ArMa in front of a Congressional review board on the trumped up charge of being an organized syndicate. ArMa defended the Church in his landmark speech to Congress: Kiss my ass you dang crackers! Senators you're all just pissed because I may or may not have had my way with your wives, mistresses, daughters and in some cases, mothers. So what if I cuckolded you all, is that any reason to attack my organization? So what if a few million dollars is missing from our books and I just bought a diamond and platinum mountain bike? Stop being bitches!

In 1992 the Church of ArMa grew from 25,000 to 100,000 to become the 4th most popular religion on the east coast, behind Judaism, Islam, Christianity, and Chicken Plucking. In 1993 the total number of ArMaites grew to 300,000 with a per capita income of $95,000. By 1996 ArMaites outnumbered all other religious organizations on the East Coast, finally overtaking Chicken Plucking. May 11th 1997, on ArMa's 20th birthday he gives a speech so stirring, so controversial, and so powerful that 40 Congressmen convert to ArMaism immediately upon hearing it. Here is that speech:      "Today is the day I have dreamed of my entire life. My power has been realised, my status as your human god has become a reality. I have been to the mountains of fire in the blackest reaches of hell. I have fought with the devil for the souls of all of you here today. I have struck him down low with the power of ArMa and he was broken and torn asunder. What was left was a weak and cowering angel who needed guidance. So I said to this weak creature, I said Satan get yo bitch ass up and suck my balls you homo!      [crowd cheers wildly]      Because I am your human god. I said I am your manmade god. I testify that I am the fire and ice of this world. And I will bring you to the mouth of Washington D.C. and I will knock the doors down until everyone worships the one human god, ArMa!      [crowd wets themselves]      Bow to ArMa!      [women in the crowd fall to their knees in worship]      ArMa will save you from the Chicken Pluckers!      [men pull our their wallets and throw their cash at ArMa]      Now I want you to go to your neighbor and take what is his! Take his wife, take his kids, his satellite dish, his new car, everything and anything. Because from this day forth, might equals right in the eyes of ArMa. The only thing that matters is my tribute. Today the East Coast, tomorrow the MidWest!

Note: This is all a big goof and not meant to be taken seriously. That means you're supposed to laugh jackass!